The Shitposter Encyclopedia

Well, Hello there!

Thanks for joining me for the first issue of "The Shitposter Encyclopedia".

As you are well aware, there are many sons of bitches in the oncean who just love to spew shit out of their mouths onto our Steemit feed. Those individual species are truly marvelous and intriquing creatures. On todays episode, we'll take look at 7 species of shitposters.

1. "The Sanitation Worker"

Oh, this one is rare indeed. It collects all shitposts it finds and makes one big pile of it. Hes eyes sparkle with amazement and body quivers with excitement, when he stumbles upon a real good looking piece of shit. Each piece he drags to his blog and compiles it nicely to a list for the whole Steemit ocean to admire.

2. "The Classy Hobo"

Hobos are common. They lurk in the depths of the ocean, but sometimes a Hobo gets dragged up by a passing whales current. If the Hobo has enough wit he quickly becomes a Classy Hobo. His voice is heard by most hobos and so hordes of hobos to imitate him in new shitposts. He motivates the hobos enough so that they believe - one day the Hobos will dominate the Trending page.

3. "The Hobo"

The Hobo is a silent creature, but once in a while in moments of clarity it brings about a shitpost. A really short and mostly meaningless piece of shit that in some rare instances resembles the left overs of a joke. Then it fades and falls into a deep sleep, until the next shitpost.

4. "The Hippie"

The Hippies like to relax and chill. They mostly reside on the bottom, but their cool additude and love for cannabis has granted them a chance to the top. This happened eons ago, but in the weed haze the slow minds of the hippies still ride the waves long past, hoping for a chance of ascention with every picture of weed they post.

5. "The Mad Hag" aka Cenk

If you ever felt like ranting about the most trending posts, other steemians, the whales or etc. chance are that a Mad Hag has already done that many times. Mad Hags are lovely creatures who use the power of complaining to their advantage. Truly, a magnificent adoption to the cold bitter darkness that is the bottom of the ocean. From time to time they attract other steemians to support their complaints, that's how they survive. (Chances are that those steemians devolve to shipposters themselves, because shit usually attracts more shit.)

6. "The Church of Kopyims extremist"

When you happen to find an extremist from The Curch of Kopyism and listen closely, you may hear a quiet chant that goes like this:

"In the beginning there was the Bit. It was zero. The Bit activated and IT begot one.

Between zero and one there was nothing.

Then the Bit got copied.

And then those bits got copied.

And those again, and again, ad infinitum.

Lo, and behold: The one bit begot a universe, by copying itself, with minor changes with each copy.

Therefore, it is our sacred duty to copy bits into similar but different bits, so the Great Work of the One Bit is done."

In the darkness of the cold black void where food is scarse, these creatures have found a way to create shitposts with the least amount effort, by copying the work that slowly sinks from the top to the bottom. These shitposts were hard to distinguish at first, but creatures called bots usually swarm these copied shitposts nowadays, keeping those religious lunatics at bay. They truly are a sight to behold.

7. "The Twat"

Twats are quite the hideous bunch. They produce shiposts at a continuous stream, often talking about boobs, booze and everything that's not news. They even use the force of memes and engage in calling names. Most twats are estimated to be around 12 years old. Remarkable creatures, to generate that much shit for their age.

That's it for todays episode!

Keep the shit flowing!

Thanks @kyle for the motivation. This could not have happened without you!