Hunches, indeed, are becoming redundant as child's play. The game has become very serious.

I remember knowing instantly the young man who had come for refuge and Great Teachings from what he hoped would be a Dragon Lady (me? Really?) would not last with a stamina that did not reach beyond three days straight of gaming (on MY computer!). But that is us at 23 looking for something that can never last - quite unprepared to take any leaps into the unknown, despite thinking we are already there after following the manual on how to be willing. 33 myself at the time, it was already obvious to me (as maybe it already was at age 3), but sometimes there is nothing you can do than sit it out and let the CV clock up this and that and things that make you yawn and especially seize up the muscles that matter most. Nobody said life was elegant. But elephants and blue whales seem to manage, and so must we.

I was long ago prepared when asked to do what is barely humanly possible - to retreat from all I need for 16 years - never to say, what a waste of time. I would have really nothing left if I also lose my sense of timing (which does absolutely nothing for your planning! Useless skill that love is without it. Timing is to find the steps by which to cross the abyss.) I grew up to reach this age, that was always a given. What comes next is the rest of my life dedicated to dying. No, I am not morose. Just an obsessive prepper for all eventualities. Let the events begin! We have our felix stadium.

Of course, we have not met before in any conventional sense (our timelines barely convene with locations) and I don't do "past lives" - this one is quite enough for now, thank you. Still, I keep on "hearing" that we have, and await further clarification on that need-to-know-basis.

From when you began to do so and as you continued to do so I was aware of your avid reading, but trying to stay very down to earth with my business cap on straight to impress my employer here, I made "nothing of it" - no staring. I can remember being concerned about "losing you" but unable often to make adjustments or to better cater to what might more logically be up your alley. And so Love seldom finds us in very propitious situations simply because it will flow to wherever it can regardless of what never matters but always keeps us busy.

I don't know about you (she speaks in paradoxes), I expect it will be far more unconsciously so for you being a technical man with his eye on the clock of the world, where I so need it, but I am no longer "losing sleep" I am using it to find out where it is that we keep on meeting, now at least, indisputably.

I have a new mattress of considerable quality (to coax my back to work with me) so I think it can take the tossing and turning. Peri-menopausal women are best off watching their diet and lowering the calorie intake, and I am therefore not so bothered by the reduction in meals and portions consumed, but must remember also in eating we digest the truth. As for the fizzing in my veins, never having been a drug-addict, I am still quite perplexed to what it means. It is very useful to me that you speak of your own "medical" condition with all its symptoms, giving me the opportunity to better diagnose if there should be any virus that we ought to nip in the bud. As a qualified herb lady this is my first concern. May it also continue to reassure you I do not use words lightly or with mockery. I told you I am a very sensible person. My father would be proud. (Ay,was that last touch of cynicism really necessary? Cave canem? I'd rather think in terms of cat still barely out of bed.)

“Statue of an unknown Cynic”, whom we can identify as belonging to this class of philosopher by his virtue in agreement with nature and the fact he also just got out of bed and hasn’t got any farther in getting dressed at 11 in the morning than sitting with the sheets wrapped around him.