Sunday funday for Day Ten of My Thirty Day Challenge and we're still going strong!
I woke up early again today! Two in a row.. I hope to start and build a chain. I'm thinking about making it visual somehow, like finding one of those big desktop calendars/planners/whatever.. and putting a big red check on every successful day I can get up.. Seeing the chain build can be a pretty powerful reinforcer.. hey.. it worked for Jerry Seinfeld, right?
In other news, I didn't even crave coffee today. Had one cup in the morning and that was it.
Weekends are a mixed bag for me.. as mentioned before, I am having a hard time finding time to balance between family (the boys are home from school), work, social, and personal obligations. I felt myself starting to stress about it today, but then had a breakthrough... here's how it went.
I had finished work for the day and was trying to make sure the wife and kids had eaten and were satisfied so that I could slip into my study and knock out a few articles and/or get in a workout.. However, as per usual, my time was demanded elsewhere.
The boys had been asking for days to go outside and ride their bicycles.. it's rainy season in Thailand right now, so finding a good day for it is as rare as finding a buddhist monk in a barber shop. Alas, yesterday we were graced with a gorgeous sunny day, so all my excuses evaporated with the puddles on the pavement.
I felt my skin crawling.. I was getting antsy and cranky because it was happening again.. I was losing my time for others.. but then.. I stopped.. I succumbed.. and then I had a revelation.. Once I gave myself over completely to spending time with my sons and helping them develop their bike riding skills, I started to relax.. more than that.. I started to really enjoy myself and the whole experience.
They say that the etymology of word "Decision" has its roots in the latin words de and caedere.. DE means 'from" and CAEDERE means "cut off".. (the root of this word is CIS which simply means "to cut" like inCISion, sCISsors, or even its variants, like in CAESar, who was cut from his mother's womb..)The ancient Latins put the two words together to create the compound DECIDERE which meant "to cut off from". Making a decision literally meant cutting off from something or cutting something away..
So, when I decided, and genuinely decided to get out the bicycle helmets and take the boys out, I literally cut off any more thoughts of doing anything else, removed all other options 100% from my mind. That was unexpectedly liberating!! I immediately felt the stress ooze out of me. I had such a wonderful time. Not worrying or stressing about having to do this or that, trying to be in a million places at once, was such a wonderful experience..
I think a lot of my strife and stumbling blocks in not only my day to day activities, but in major defining junctions of my life has been due to my inability to choose.. to decide fully and whole-heartedly..The what-ifs and failure to commit one way or another has left me paralyzed and stressed at every turn. Being able to make a decision.. to choose one path and cut away all others completely is one of the most productive things you can do.. it's a shame I am learning this valuable life lesson so late.. but what's the saying..
