It has recently occurred to me that my migraines almost take away my rational thinking, my personality even. I am talking about the kind of migraines that force me to sit in a dark, cold room with earplugs in my ears and a silicone guard on my teeth. The kind of migraine that leaves almost no room for anything, but pain. The pain takes over completely. I feel nauseous when I try to stop myself from vomiting, and then I start to lose my vision. Sometimes I have a bright, glowing, circle in front of my eyes, it almost blinds me even though my eyes are closed.
When I vomit, I feel a little better for a short while.
When I lie alone in a room like this for hours it should, freak out from my usual flurry of thoughts. But no. I don't have too many thoughts. Usually, if I think about something really intensely - it is about the pointlessness of such an existence. So that it doesn't hurt anymore.
Sometimes I manage to fall asleep for a few hours, but then I don't have dreams. When I wake up I feel a great emptiness and meaninglessness. Also, I do not know if I can even call it a 'dream' because it does not give any rest. I wake up sweaty, tired, lost.
I also feel terribly lonely. Very lonely. After such a dream I always have the feeling that decades have passed, that there is no one close to me around anymore. This feeling gives way to another wave of pain. Usually at first pain is little smaller and I can see exactly the parts of my body that are about to give up. Stiffness, shivering muscles, itching all over, cold sweat, hot flashes, then cold, cramps, dry mouth, shivering muscles in the face, hands.
But there is no rush of thoughts, Perhaps this is my organism try to find the way of coping with the burden of thoughts? If stress can have somatic symptoms (such as headaches, backaches), then maybe my head generates migraines??
Picture done by me, all rights reserved 
I've used pigment-ink 'uniPIN' 0.05, Staedtler 0.03, white Gelly Roll 08,Sakura
