Well it looks remarkably like I have managed to find the time to engage in the most engagey of all of the engagement initiatives on Hive!

Obviously, I mean The weekend experiences community, weekend topic posting prompts offered by the G-dog himself Mr galenkp.

Of the plethora of blog prompts offered up this week, I chose one that I am actually having to think seriously about in my life right now:

🔹You lost your job and have no income.

Hmmm.. Funny you should mention that...

Hmmm. Such synchronicity... I have been turning this exact blog life prompt over in my mind a LOT of late as it looks as though my health vs 12 hour shifts [especially night shifts] ongoing battle may draw to a forced conclusion in the very near future...

If I woke up tomorrow to find myself in this quandary for real, my first reaction is one that would cause me to beat myself about the head with a wet fish for at least half of the day...

Why did I wait till the decision was taken out of my hands to act and pursue my goals???

Truth be told, I have felt that way for quite some time anyway and wish I had forced myself in to action, although confusion, fear and lack of clarity has always been behind this inertia. I have been fully aware of this, add to this the health factors over the past decade ort so and circumstances were far less than perfect.

I suspect if my job safety net was ripped away, it would focus my mind in a 'shit got real' kind of way that would probably be the making of me.

Probably... Maybe... I hope!!!

dreams mental-health
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I would sit down with a coffee and write an overly simplistic inventory of my skills, goals and accountability strategies that I could implement RATHER than go straight to the 'looking for another job' option.

Next, I would try and add a little meat to the bones of this very basic plan, fleshing it out a little more to see if it looked even 'minimally' practical/actionable. I would talk over the first draft of a plan with m'lady to see if she thought I was being realistic or simply seeing what I want to see.

She would be the perfect person to share this with as she would be as brutally honest as I need her to be while simultaneously being my biggest fan and wanting only the very best for me. I do mean the best for ME before contemplating the best for US. She really is bloody magnificent!

Next I would make a 'bare minimum' list of action steps and checkpoints that I would need to hit each and EVERY single day to stay on track to make enough money to get us by until income was regular enough to think about the rest of my life.

The last step that needs to go hand in hand with everything I have stated thus far: what can I do to make money right now, today, tomorrow, this week to keep the wolf from the door? Would I cut lawns, dog walk, eBay?

This may all sound a little juvenile and not a very 'grown up' strategy for a guy who is about to turn 51 but I am what I am and I know this would be my exact action list as it is the one I have been working on while being sick from work this past month!!!

I have a couple more weeks of sick pay left before I need to face up to some all to 'grown up' choices, just between you and I, it would seem that the risk to my health by resuming work in my current condition would be more of a gamble than I should take:

BUT MONEY AND REAL LIFE, RIGHT?

There is one aspect of all this pipe dreamery that I worry about most of all. What if I don't follow through with the things I say I will???

Can I trust myself?

I wish the answer to that question was abso-bloody-lutely obvious, I want it to be, but I am at the whim of my physical AND mental health more than I would hope recently, it is a genuine worry.

I guess you will find out at the same time as I do in the coming weeks and months as this is my EXACT plan.

I'm sure that many of you share the same nagging doubts that tug at the very core of your beliefs as I do. I genuinely want to believe in me but don't always feel as confident as I would hope to.

My posts have a habit of becoming incredibly introspective, it's almost as though when I write a post I am throwing words, ideas and concepts at a sounding board to see what emerges from all that idea slinging.

Thank you so much for the prompt Galen, it has focussed my thoughts in a very necessary way.

I HOPE the next chapter of my life is as fulfilling and rewarding as I know it CAN be. I need to be as solid, dynamic and dependable as I can in order to make my life what I want it to be, working a job that I believe WILL kill me in the next few years is not a viable option. It certainly SHOULDN'T be, right?

Wow! 2 posts in 2 days... This has gotta be a turning point, right? I think that is about half of what I managed over the last 12 months!!!

Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!

Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!

Keep taking the time to connect with each-other both here and in the 'so-called' real world and try and look after each-other, because as you already know...

I am an incredibly proud member of #TeamUK I love the global community immensely, but it is nice to have a home-team banner to add to my posts. The banner was made by the inimitable RoastMaster General himself @c0ff33a If you are an active UK member and would like to be added to the teamUK community on Discord, just let me know 😎