That indomitable Aussie, Mr @Galenkp really smacked us about the head with one of this weeks blog prompts.
I look forward to the weekend-engagement blog topic prompts coming round each weekend, yup, every single weekend for the last 105 weeks!!!
That's almost as regular as a Boris Johnson scandal.
I'm gonna be honest, from the suggestions offered up, some of them I read and I think "meh...". They don't really speak to me but do to other people. I think that is pretty much the point, right?
However there's always at-least one that makes me say "WOW!". It's like the man climbs in to my head and finds how my buttons work, trust me, no-one should be wandering round in there, it's like a cross between a Kafka story and an Esher painting with the intensity set to 10.
Read the below prompt that I chose and see if it pricks that place in your mind, somewhere between fantasy and imagination that allows you to smell colours...
Live again
You're dead, but have the chance to live again. Would you choose to live the same life you already had or would you choose to live a different life altogether? If so, who's life? Explain your answer.
Although in so many ways I am delighted with those closest to me, my experiences thus far, journeying along the road of life and I often say I wouldn't change a thing.
Is that really true?
Well, yes and no. I think many of us have pondered how differently we could live our lives if we could go back and turn left or straight on at those pivotal 'crossroad' moments that shape our human experience.
Imagine that, crossing over to who knows where and being given the chance of a cosmic 'do-over'. A lot would depend on how the story plays out from here to the final page, I am certain of that, but consider if today was the last day, what would you change, who would you be, what do you secretly yearn for when you think of it being unrealised, even as you take your final breath.
I am in the latter stages of an uhm... I'm not really sure what to call my 'existential crisis', 'taking stock' of my life, a 'life audit', let's just call it a 'mid life crisis' and leave it at that. The reason I mention this is that I am already pondering where I've been, where I'm at and of course where I am heading.
So this concept was like a punch to the temporal lobe with aftershocks felt all the way to the frontal lobe, (deliberately chosen, google it... on second thoughts, don't use google...).
Here's the thing. Although I am happy with the family I have, the love we share and who I am with regard to my general beliefs, wonderings and the ethical qualities I exhibit and my general authenticity and integrity, there's still that thought:
Wait a second, did I just say "wanted"? Strange choice of word, surely I should have said, the things I most "want" from life, right?
This stuff is surreptitious, isn't it? It burrows in to your consciousness and chip-chip-chips away, convincing you that the moment has passed to be all that you could be.
I think the first thing I would do on day one of my second chance at this whole life thing, is make a list. I would make the grandest, most detailed list, to form in to a plan to keep myself accountable, every moment of every day, I would move closer and closer to my goals, dreams and ambitions.
A little way down the track of 'Steven the return', I would realise that I had been absent from everything and everyone truly important to me. I would realise soon after that a list doesn't make you the person you want to be, the values to achieve and maintain a balanced life stem from values.
A single-minded focus is great in moderation but is the kind of crusade embarked on those we might describe as workaholics, those people who one day notice the note left on the refrigerator telling them the family moved on to some place they will be noticed, cherished and made to feel loved and important.
I think we have all seen enough fantasy movies with second chances or time travel abilities that have taught us one thing and one thing alone. We must never under-estimate the human capacity to 'F stuff up', when given an opportunity to go back and fix mistakes made in the past.
Every one of those mistakes, is a teacher, is an opportunity to learn and be better. Trying to erase them, or strike them from the record strips us of the chance to own them, become better from them and hopefully, evolve.
I think after having the opportunity to have another crack at being a better human, I would be left with a whole lot of regrets about the things I should have done better the first time around. I would lament over the fact that it was always up to me!
As things stand, I am not dead today and probably won't be tomorrow, hopefully. So maybe the real secret is to realise the places along the way, you didn't live up to the ideals you set for yourself, cut yourself a little slack and repeat after me:
In the second half (I don't think I dare tempt fate by banking on another 50 years, but ya never know...), chapter of my life, however long or short that may be, I should try and live it in a way that means if I am ever offered a second time on the merry-go-round of life:
I can politely decline, adding, I lived a good life, I am happy with the legacy I left as a man, a dad, a partner, family member, friend and with the example I left for others. I achieved as much as was able, without compromising the delicate balance it takes to hold a life in check.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
@c0ff33a If you are an active UK member and would like to be added to the teamUK community on Discord, just let me know 馃槑