I turned 48 years old yesterday (March 18th here in Japan). It was a beautiful spring day and I spent it mostly alone. And it was fantastic. I love my wife and son dearly of course. but I need time to be alone as well. To think, to read, and mainly to write.
Sometimes my wife doesn’t like my reclusive creative needs very much, but I think she understands it after all these years together. My seven year old son is a little trickier. I’m pretty sure if my wife and I let him play Mario Bros as long as he wanted to he could happily go a week or more without seeing either of us. At other times he needs his daddy and nothing is going to stand in his way. I miss them both when they spend the night at the in-laws. There is always a twinge of emptiness in our condo each time, but I need time alone to get to those places in my head that brings out my best writing.
It’s not that I don’t like or want to see people. It’s just that very often it’s easier for me to make sense of their voices when they are absent and silent. In the moment when faces, body language, emotions, and conversations are coming at me too fast I can’t take it in and have a hard to responding. Or at least responding in a way that doesn’t seem awkward and weird to other people.
I need quiet time away like my birthday yesterday. Then I can come back recharged with my enthusiasm and passion renewed for those I care most about in my life.