God first.

So i heard you are bitter
You are angry at life for not making it up to you.
Maybe a divorce by a bullet will do or a stab of the knife will be better.
Disgusted by the sight of every individuals that comes close to your untouchable pains. You are so tired that even tiredness is tired of you.
Separated from the business of the society by the mere thought and imagination that no one understands you. Fear surrounds your mind like the walls of Jericho but remember it still fell flat.
Your mentors seems not find the right word to suit your situation because they don't just get you, you appear so far away from their reach even though you are wrapped in the embrace of their hands but can there be any mentor greater than the Holy Spirit?. The word faith sounds like fault to your ear drum but remember Christ paid for this too.
Not good enough songs are on repeat to every organ and senses that is mounted in your body. It has become a trend and an ocean you are deeply drowning in even with all the humanly efforts and connections you have tried to use to let it dry up. All push ups geared towards coming out of this oceans seems abortive and fruitless but remember Peter laid the net after several toiling at the word of Christ and the harvest was bountiful and he also walked on the sea.
You wake up each day to the site of an unhealthy human being in the mirror, gone through different surgeries far and wide but it ain't getting better any way. Doctors can try but He the ultimate healer does the final cleansing you can ask the woman with the issue of blood.
You know some times God allows you to be broken so that you can learn how to gather the pieces. Sometimes He allows you to experience pains so that you can appreciate gain. He may allow your walls to be shattered for you to learn coordination.
He may allow you to experience shut doors so that you can create your own doors and learn to trust on Him because He has never disappointed anyone.
So learn to fix your gaze on Him, approach Him first before you go to humans so that He can prepare the way before you take a step.
And you will come out BEST.