Miami Trip... Self Realization! (Less control, More letting go)
hello, Long time no Blog.... I am sorry..... But hey, I am glad to be typing up again. I want to update you all on my journey I call life. I have been experiencing many mental and low vibrational moments. I have realized how low I have been when I went to my trip to Miami. It turned out not as I expected it to go and felt out of control and had many anxious thoughts. First of all I did not plan the trip as I should have. I did not book a stay, I instead wanted to be more nomadic and cheap by just sleeping in my car.... well it sounded awesome, but when It happened it was terrible.I did not realize the cost of traveling by car to Miami and especially traveling in a 2002 Jeep Liberty. That car is terrible for traveling long distances! The car burns so much gas, buns through oil as well, and the comfortability of the car seat is not good. I also found it very interesting how my fears, worries, and anxiety comes to the surface when I am near or around water, open water, and oceans. This isn't the first time I have experienced this realization of the water element bringing about my deepest issues. I lived on an island before and went through a deep depression where I felt most miserable and lost. I realized my biggest issue is my lack of self acceptance and self love about my body. I always want to look good, physically and be in the best shape. Living or being around the beach makes me super uncomfortable because of the way my stomach looks and the rest of my skin. I also realized how much I have been slacking on my meditation practice. I was doing so good before I moved back in with my parents... or was I? I feel everything happens for a reason. I am not in the present moment most of time and instead think about the past and the future. I needed this Miami trip to help me realize that I need to discipline my spiritual practices. It is just easier to suffer I guess... But no. I understand I am special and need to keep focusing on myself and investing in myself to release temptations, hunger, and overthinking. Life is beautiful. I am powerful and am able to overcome anything that comes my way, after all I chose this life and this body and this path. It is time I take back my power and responsibility as an immortal being having a temporary human experience.
I love you all and am willing to keep going and keep learning more about this journey within. I am healing and I am healed. :) Peace to you and until next time... Namaste :)
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