Mind your own business
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I have told myself, not to be in a hurry to advise anyone. I am learning the dynamics of minding my own business. As a matter of fact, you should be so engrossed in your life that you don't have time to throw in an idle word in people's business.
People that look at others long enough to see and point out all the wrong things, deserves an award.
Not an award for fetching details but that of negligence of their own business.
People that give ready advice are fake advisers. Advising another is a calling reserved for some people. Not everyone can advise.
Not everyone should throw in a careless advise.
That you are observant and keen does not make you an adviser. That you are wise and sharp doesn't give you the licence to advise. That you are older does not mean you are skilled or talented to advise.
Advising people involves a special skill and ethics.
It requires a gentle tongue
It requires patience and thoughts
It requires strength of character and the lack of a controlling and manipulative mien.
It requires humility.
It requires prayers.
When you get to a point were you can take 3 days, brood over a matter, pray for direction and be careful how you approach the issue and the person(s) involved, then you are good to go.
If you are cocky, stubborn, prideful, no matter how intelligent you are, please don't advise anyone.
Most people use the opportunity to give good advise to show off. They'll go like, "If he doesn't have this, don't marry him. When I met my husband, he bought me a diamond ring before I knew he was ready."
Some highly pious women will tell you, "When I was your age, I didn't know any man. I waited until the spirit told me he was the one, we got married before we smiled at each other." And vis a vis
Some people condemn others in the name of advising you. "As you are going like that, you will end up pregnant and there'll be no future for you."
What scares me more is the fact that life is complicated. You could be very wrong in your advise. The course you told someone not to read in school may turn out to be the best thing that happened to that young person. The friend you advised against became a responsible doctor.
The child you condemned as a drug addict, a spoilt brat or dull is now an entrepreneur.
Back then when i was still staying at the hostel in year one, I had this friend who would press her phone immediately she is awake in the morning and will be on Facebook till dawn chatting. Well, we the 'good girls' will condemn it. She'll cook one okro soup like that, and we'll be thinking aloud like, "with this kind of food Tracy, who'll marry you?"
Needless to say, Tracy was the first one who got married to a doctor and is doing well. And am not married yet
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It is not envy. This is me learning the real life lessons. Life can turn for anyone, favor anyone. Not because you are 'good' but because life's like that-full of genuine surprises.
So dear, talk less of other people. Leave them with whatever flaws you think they have. Overcome the temptation to always jump in and save him or her with plenty advice and prophecy of doom.
Anyone can start out very rusty with everyone prophesying in the flesh, "She will end up a prostitute." Or he will end up "behind bars."
Fortunately, the next time you see him or her, they're with their husbands, wife and three great kids.
The people you once thought will starve are the ones you saw in pepperoni eating. Your mind may go ahead to prophecy more doom, by saying 'ah, so he finally became an armed robber, that's why he could afford food at Oliver Tweest.
Well, things changed for him or her while you weren't looking.
Please learn to mind your own business. Learn to prophecy good prophecies and do a lot of encouragement. It is a virtue the world seriously need. When you learn how to mind your business, it saves insult and trouble, you would have gotten yourself into because tend to misinterpret things these days..
And if you eventually mind your own business, you will stay busy all the time but it's the bitter truth.
You are light
Behave like light
Always see light
And give light.
