Wow. This was really well written with great imagery. My simple suggestion to address your curiosity of the beyond is to start meditating often to find those answers in your mind and maybe even outside your mind. Maybe you do this already, but if not, I think it'll give you a much better chance of answering some of your questions versus wondering what'd happen if you handled things the other way. Keep sharing your thoughts if you need on here. Message me anytime if you ever feel things boiling up a bit too much. Exercise also helps.