" If you want to know what it’s like to survive hell and still come out shining brighter than the sun, just look into the eyes of a woman who has survived intense damage and refused to allow it to destroy her softness." -Nikita Gill
He’s coming straight for you but on his tiptoes. Making his way from behind to catch you off guard. Armed with words that cut deeper than a knife. No matter how hard you try, you can’t save yourself with kindness. Gaslighting is on his agenda of the day. How sad is it that your innocence makes you the perfect prey. Your body is covered with wounds that aren’t visible to the eye. Like rodents festering into the darkest alleys of your mind, you can’t see them but you can feel them.
Weak boundaries and a heart flooded with compassion makes you the ideal victim. You can’t help but turn down the voice in you that screams for you to save your forgiveness for those who don’t make malicious use of it. It’s hell with or without you, what the fuck do I do? How can I escape when I know that if I do so I risk losing more than what I’ve lost already?
I may forgive - but I’ll never forget. My memory never fails to remind me of everything I wish I could forget. A smell, a word, a place, is all it takes for my nervous system to flight freeze or fight for my life. You cheated on me with karma, and sometimes I wonder how you sleep at night while I’m wide awake wondering if I’ll ever recover. You have used words to kill me - but now I’m taking them back and writing on them beautiful things to create an avenue for healing.