It was a real Chet Baker night, as Axle lifted the large kitchen window sash, and leaned out into a damp Seattle winter evening. ‘No Orion hanging out tonight,’ thought Axle, allowing the misty rain to gently splatter his cheeks. While watching a horny couple fervidly attack each other in the ally far below him. Even with his head stuck outside, he could hear muffled laughter coming from his friends and neighbors shared kitchen wall. “Betts at it again,” he whispered to himself. Not in the mood for her sexual night play, he closed the window gently, trying not to let her know he was home.
It was Betty that had rearranged his hotel rooms, Feng Shui, she called it, and had placed his writing desk right up against her bedroom wall. He had come to see her brilliance behind the move, but the thin walls made for amazing entertainment, whether one liked it or not. Tonight, he wasn’t in the mood, and could see he was in for a wild night. Betty was just about thirty, beautiful, lonely, and looking for a log term relationship. But hadn’t yet learned that you probably wouldn’t find true love in a bar.
Even Betts sexual antics couldn’t keep his mind off of Draino. He just sat there in front of his laptop, staring blankly at the flashing cursor. Rummaging through his top desk drawer for his ear buds an old printout of his penis slid out, from underneath a framed picture of Angela he’d angrily tossed there. One that managed not to get ripped up. The previous year he had gone through a stage where he was photographing his dick. He wasn’t going to analyze why, he just did it. Until one day, Betty found them.
Betty and Axle had reached a point in their friendship, where they were walking in on each other, well at least Bett had. And while watering his plants had discovered his very private, and risky collection. When Axle returned she had them spread out all over his kitchen table. “Don’t leave them out for anyone to see, if you don’t want them seen,” was her retort to Axles complaints. She had them sorted into piles, according to size and attraction. Axle took note that Betty paid no attention his artistic attempts, of light and shadow. “Would you, if it were my Muff!” she replied laughing? “Who cares about that shit!” She had added! Axle had to sit and squirm through her sober critique. And couldn’t stop her from taking a picture of him hard. “Its my favorite,” cried Betty.
Axle slid the photograph back underneath a pile of letters, and returned Angela’s picture to the desk top. He chuckled at Betty's funny comments about his penis and size. And wondered when her muff was going to make its appearance? He made an attempt to write again, and hadn’t gotten far, when he heard a large thump coming from her apartment. Axle had to extract an abusive lover once before, and wondered if this was going to be one of those nights? After a quiet long pause, he began writing again, keeping his head-phones loose just encase.
Between Betty's antics, and thoughts of Draino walking Seattle’s streets free, Axle closed his laptop and allowed the soft jazz to sweep him away. Until Drano’s threats of killing him came flooding back into consciousness. “Fuck!” Axle snapped out loud. “What’s that evil prick doing here. Drano’s a thug hit-man, why would Red bring him along, just to help find his daughter. He had plenty of smart people around him, even a private eye. So why Draino?” Wondered Axle wracking his brain? Axle thought of making a late-night trip out to his Bike shed, then thought better of it?
He slapped some peanut butter on a slice of bread, and grabbed a Corona from the fridge. Sitting at his kitchen table loosening an earbud wondering why it had become so quiet at Betts? Just as he was thinking that maybe she’d gone out again. There she stood, at his open-door half naked, dressed only in a baby-blue thong, and a see-through blouse, mouthing something. How long she’d been there was anybody’s guess? She was flapping her arms up and down, like a baby bird trying to fly. Axle sat spellbound, staring at her, unsure of what he was seeing, looking at the size and shape of her lovely jiggling breasts. Flopping around in every direction by her rising excitement.
“Axle!” Betty finally yelled out loud waking him up. Axle stood, as she went back to quietly mouthing something, that he couldn’t make out. When she saw him stand, and drop his earphones, she disappeared back to her apartment. Axle followed, flying through the room realizing something heavy was going on. Grabbing a baseball bat, he kept by the door, and as he entered the hall, he could see Betty, framed deliciously in her open doorway. As he arrived, she was pointing to something out of his view in the room. She was still mouthing silent words, and he had to squeeze in-between her and the door jam to get in.
There laying naked was a beautiful young woman, half on, half off the couch. Obviously past out. She had the biggest nipples Axle had ever seen in his life. He was speechless, and just stood there dazed. One could scour the world for nipples like these, he thought, and here they are, in some cheap Seattle hotel?
“I killed her, I killed her,” finally screamed Betty, from the doorway. “My God… what have I done?” Incredulous, Axle looked over at her, then back at the naked woman, who was flashing him a fresh, and brand-new Brazilian. He couldn’t loosen his eyes from her body, and pretty face. Optical promises, he thought, what an amazing feast for his eyes.
“No, no. Its OK she moved. She’s just pass-out.” said Axle, reassuring her. “She’s fine,” he added trying to calm Betty with hands and arm movements. Then a small gusher of puke erupted onto her chin. She lifted her head slightly and gave Axle a Pablum smile, while looking out between slits from never-never land.
“Cutie, come-mere honey,” said the unbelievably gorgeous woman, arms out stretched invitingly. Enticing Axle, who actually considered it for a second.
“She was talking one second,” interjected Betty, “then just dropped to the floor! I swear she didn’t move a muscle, she looked dead I though she was fucking dead!” Cried Betty growing out of control.
“She’s fine Betty. Well she’s not dead at least!”
Betty was all over Axle, with hugs and kisses of gratitude. Totally forgetting she was half naked herself. However, Axle hadn’t missed anything, not in the slightest. It was Like he had magically cured the woman, and was the hero of the day. Axle reveled in the glory, as he proudly sundered to the kitchen sink, to wet a towel.
Upon returning, Betty sobering slightly, grabbed the towel from him and tried to cover her nakedness with it, until she felt it was wet. “I can handle it from here baby,” said Betty, leading Axle towards the door. “Thanks, I really appreciate your help, I really do.’ Axle protested, but Betty was firm, still leading him slowly to the open door, pausing, she allowing Axle one more look at the drunken beauty.
“Isn’t now a good time to take pictures of your Muff,” laughed Axle?
“Ha ha, funny boy,” giggled Betty.
“SHALL I CALL AN AMBULANCE,” screamed Miss Jones’s, from the doorway, just home from evening Vespers?
“O no, no Dear, everything’s fine,” cried Betty. Sobering up real fast, and flying across the room to head off the old lady from entering the room! Betty not meaning too, used a bit too much force, and roughly man-handled the poor old dear out into the hall. Betty slammed the door closed, and he could hear them arguing back and forth in the hall. Seeing the drunken girl oblivious, but trying to right herself, he couldn’t help but gaze at her naked beauty. Betty stepped back into the room in anger, slamming the door. Axle could hear the old women yelling. “I know what’s going on in there," cried Miss Jones. "Disgraceful, that what it is, Disgraceful!”
Axle moved to cover the woman with a couch shawl, before taking another long look at her huge pointed nipples. Axle just shook his head in absolute wonder. Close, yet so far away, he thought. “Thanks honey,” said Bett seriously. Seeing him cover her. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you, I really don’t” Just as Betty was saying this, her date sat up and puked all over the floor. They both stopped and looked in wonder, at the amount of vomit she was expelling. Betty ran to the bathroom for a bucket, that was full of her stockings and underthings, and tossed them into the tub. Axle started wiping the groaning woman’s mouth, and face, that as now covered in puke. Feeling better, she let herself slip back into the couch.
Betty scattered towels, all around the ancient wooden floor, and place a pink plastic bucked near the woman’s head.
“Kind-da like closing the barn door… Don’t ya think? Offered Axle.
“Gotta do something!”
“Yer looking pretty sexy, said Axle to Betty. Feeling amorous now that the girl was resting comfortably.
“seriously,” barked Betty!
“Ya,” said Axle! Glancing up at Betty's lively breasts dangling free under her open see through get-up. Axle was surprised at how wide Betty's aureola were. But forced himself not to comment.
“Never mind.” Snapped Betty,seen Axle gawking, and not even bothering to cover herself. “Men, yer all the same.” She continued. “You find this a sexy turn on, do you?”
“Fuck ya!” replied Axle. Betty rolled her eyes.
“Start helping out or leave,” snapped Bett. Not in the least bit interested in Axles sexual innuendo.
Axle grabbed a dish cloth and stared wiping the soiled glass coffee table, and hadn’t noticed the huge vibrator sitting on the table until now. “Fuck Betty,” piped Axle, that things enormous!” he continued, Lifting the giant vibrator to wipe under.
“I like it big, and rough, and believe me, so does she!” Axle squirmed in lust, at hearing this. Feeling himself getting hard, visualizing them using it on each other.
“But I have to say, Laughed Betty, popping Axles bubble. It ain’t as pretty as yours, is it?”
“Axle laughed, then stopped. Wondered if her comment was a compliment or not?
“Hey, by-the-way,” said Betty, looking confused. “What are you doing with that rag on your head anyway?”
Dan Ger
