The vehicle you drive or the clothes you wear will not turn you into someone who people enjoy being around. That has to come from within. I do not know you, but from what you have written here, I have concluded 2 things. The first is that if you want people to be comfortable around you, and vice versa, you need to stop looking at yourself as being the boss. It seems to me that you may have put yourself up on a pedestal too high for most people to comfortably reach. The second is that your fear of close encounters comes blistering through like a search light or a foghorn in the night. Yes, other people can see and sense these things about you almost as clearly as if you went around wearing a printed sign.

"As I pass the hall mirror I see the reflection of a changed man and smile."

How you see yourself is not necessarily how other people see you. In fact, more often than not, quite the opposite is true. True change will only come from within...what you say and how you act around others.