Before we set off for the Yakama Reservation, we first paid a visit to my parents graves. It had become a tradition. Once a month Crystal would drive me there. Initially she did it for me and I did it for her. I'd sit down between their plots, while Crystal gave me some privacy. I'm not sure when I started to talk to them, knowing they weren't there. There was no God. There was no afterlife. I still shared things with them. It gave me solace I suppose. Today I had a lot to tell them. far more than ever before. I began with seeing Andy off at the local airport. Filled them in on how excited his little sister was. I actually became verbose. Enjoying sharing my life with them. Waxing lyrical about all aspects of my new life. Knowing all I was doing was delaying what I'd truly come there to tell them. Even then I busied myself with tidying their graves and arranging the flowers we'd brought. It was what I always did before I left. Today that wasn't the case.
"Mom. Dad." I continued. "I've told you bit about Crystal before, I wish you could have met her. She's wonderful. I like to think you brought us together. I know that's stupid and impossible, but that's how I feel. I haven't got the words to express how wonderful she is. All I can say is I love her with all my heart. Even more than Andy, she's my best friend. I want to be near her forever or until she gets fed up with me. I suppose I want to say thanks for you bringing me to her. She's put the human back into me and no matter how much I hurt her or how many problems I cause her, she's always there for me. She's been hurt so bad by life, yet she still fights for me and anyone else she takes in. I wish you could have met her."
As I reached the end of my speech I became aware I was no longer alone. Crystal was standing behind me near the bench. I wondered how long she'd been there.
"Let me know when you're ready to leave." Was all she said.
"I've said everything important. Let's go."
How much had she heard? Did it matter? At the time it did. I'd opened up to my imaginary ghost parents. Laid myself bare. When you do that you can expose your weaknesses. I didn't want Crystal to know I had any. She wouldn't exploit them as others did of course. It was a pride thing. Like not crying when you were in emotional pain. Sucking it up. Burying that agony deep within you, because you're a man and that's what men do. Ignore it. Eventually it would go away or fade into invisibility along with all the other hurts I failed to acknowledge.
A few minutes later we were on the highway, heading south. To visit Crystal's people. It wasn't where she was born and raised. Her family had lived up near the border, I discovered. It was the place she came to when her batteries needed recharging. I have to say it was fascinating. Unique in more ways than one. A place where you'd find a trailer home next door to a modern four bedroom house. I didn't meet any Running Deer's or Soaring Eagles. I did meet some lovely people. They were wary of me until I'd been introduced to them by Ms Goodbody. People who lived on the edge of society and had suffered greatly as a result.
Stan and his wife, Tawny took a shine to me. While Crystal socialized with her friends, they kept me occupied. Grey haired and wrinkled, they sat in their rocking chairs, telling me some of the history and culture of their tribe. Handed down orally from the prehistoric past. As in before the whiteman. Tales of Spilyay the coyote, a mythical, magical figure. The trickster.
It was from them I first heard about the two wolves. Thought to be an allegory originally from the Cherokee Indians. It begins with a grandfather talking to his grandson. The grandfather tells the boy inside all of us there are two wolves fighting. One wolf is everything bad. Hate, anger, greed. The other is everything good. Love, compassion, generosity. The two wolves fight within us constantly. In the tale the boy asks his grandfather which one wins. The old man says "The one you feed." Because of my own history and those recurring dreams, this struck a chord with me. Short and simple, but undeniably true. I was still pondering its full meaning when we left for Gifford Pinchot two days later. The more I looked at it, the more layers I found.
Thanks to the wonders of modern technology I was able to keep in contact with Andy. Either through Skype or with email when there wasn't enough bandwidth. Texts would also arrive, although when we got deep into the National Forest even that didn't work. He was having the time of his life. Sending me pictures of everything they got up to. He even liked Neuschwanstein, he was astounded to discover. The Black Forest was something else, with the wild boar and red squirrels. He couldn't get over the street cars in some of the cities. The second week they visited Switzerland, Holland and France, where Andy got his first taste of wine. He wasn't keen on the flavor, but was sure he'd get used to it. His parents weren't quite as eager for him to do that.
While he was off in far flung parts, I had almost two weeks alone with Crystal. Camping out under the stars. We spent more than one night lying in our sleeping bags, gazing up at them. The final night, before we headed home, there was a meteor shower. We lay back, pointing out shooting stars to one another. Until I fell asleep for a full eight hours. The next morning I felt completely disconnected. I was slow and clumsy, almost hung over. It took me an hour to recover. From sleep? I'd had the dream at least twice, as far as I can recall. Crystal asked me about it. My cries and sitting bolt upright in the night, had roused her. She thought they might be nightmares of course. Visions of my parents and the ordeal I'd gone through. I told her all that I could recall of them. Reassuring her they weren't terrifying. More a case of suddenly realizing you'd left your keys behind.
"How much pain are you in right now?"
It was a question she'd asked me regularly. I raised my left arm, rotating it.
"It's not that bad. Still constant, but only a two on the pain scale. It must be living with you."
She huffed dismissively.
"It's just time. You know what they say about it healing all wounds." I was about to argue that point. "Or maybe you just get used to them."
We had to meet the travellers at the airport. Their flight didn't get in until after 9 PM. I'd missed Andy, despite our contacts being daily. Crystal recognized this, before I did. This was for me. She pretended she needed to speak to Andy's dad about the law suits. A white lie. Mr Vadash had delegated most of the work to his staff who'd kept us regularly updated. I completely lost it when they disembarked into the small terminal. Running up to Andy to give him a hug. Only broken when his sister insisted on getting one to. He had two memory cards full of pictures. One of them all of his drone shots. They'd booked a cab. When it wasn't waiting outside five minutes later, Crystal insisted we'd run them home. All their luggage and souvenirs were loaded up. All the talking was by me and Andy. Him taking up the lion's share of of the conversation. I was delighted to have him back.
That night I asked an innocent, but probing question. The echoes of which would reverberate through the years that followed. The full import of her answer not being discovered by me until a much sharper mind than mine gave me a shove in the right direction. At the time it was curiosity that filled me. An apparent contradiction in Crystal's logic. Seeing the almost finished playhouse brought it to mind.
"Crystal? Your designs and art? You said you didn't sell pieces of you to anyone. What makes the work you're doing for Andy's dad and the Assistant DA different?"
She looked at me, considering a suitable response.
"They're designed by others. They don't have my signature on them. When I'm doing my sculptures I have to start them from an idea or a thought. I have a concept in mind, but I don't know exactly what it will look like until I've finished. Without the concept there's nothing. I can go months without doing anything creative like that. Then the impulse takes me and I have to get what's inside me out." She paused there, looking at me again. "You're having a bad influence on me Luke."
"In what way?" I asked, dreading the reply.
"I've got dictionary words in my head. A year ago I didn't know what a concept or an impulse was. I'm learning from you. I'm not sure I like that." She shoved me teasingly, smiling.
"I think you're just looking for someone to blame, and I happen to be handy."
The next day Andy turned up around noon. For the rest of the summer, school vacation, we were practically inseparable. Only managing to stay out of big trouble by the skin of our teeth on occasion. We didn't do too much damage. The drone witnessed a lot of things that could have led to divorce or criminal charges. The charges would have been against us. It was spotted by several people. As a result word got around, curtailing a lot of our spying. Heather came round and stayed a few days with Crystal and I. We managed to get her into a few scrapes. In the process discovering her motorized wheelchair had higher gears. Boy could that thing shift. It's conspicuousness was a problem of course. Seeing that heading off in the distance after a prank had gone wrong, led to only one possible conclusion as to who was responsible. Not that it mattered to Andy and I. Heather loved it. Besides nobody was going to punish her for the misdeeds.
By the end of the summer break all the kicking and screaming, with the law suits, was concluded. They didn't go to trial. The CPS and Social Services settled. Considering neither Crystal nor I had wanted cash compensation it was near incomprehensible why they'd fought for so long. As a result of the settlement Crystal now had an official position with child services. When she wasn't fostering a child she was going to be paid a retainer. Only a couple of hundred a month, which was a small percentage of the money they'd wasted fighting her. There were a few other concessions they made, making her ife a whole lot easier. Me? All I wanted was for her to be recognized as my legal guardian with my power of attorney. Rules and regulations had been bent and stretched into impossible configurations to achieve this. That might explain their resistance.
Crystal hadn't been aware of what my demands for settlement were. Not until I received the paperwork for her to read and sign, then have notarized. I didn't even know if she'd accept the responsibility. When I asked her I was very apprehensive. So much that I offered her a few days to make up her mind. When she agreed immediately the relief made me feel faint. I was going to have to thank my parents again.
