Stephen! :) Thanks for playing!

I really enjoy how you intricately tied in several different characters from existing lore; I love to see that! I found myself feeling for the displaced people of Lyveria and hoping that they work together to save the city.

You have great instincts and a good knack for creating imagery!

If I may be so bold as to offer a critical eye, I wish you would polish up your story in terms of writing conventions (punctuation, dialogue, etc). It read a bit like a draft, and I know you've got the skills!

Another thing I would have liked to see is more of a glimpse into the character telling the story, rather than focusing entirely on the characters we already know!

Great job!
You're not the winner this time, but a prize will still be yours. Stand by for some Booster Packs!