Chuck Norris knows 10 different ways to spell Bob

Like President Obama Chuck Norris also recieved the Nobel peace prize for doing nothing, but in Chucks case millions of lives were saved..

Chuck Norris can snatch your wife's golden watch in far less time than it takes a Peeping Tom to watch your wife's golden snatch!

Chuck Norris breaks RSA 128-bit encrypted codes in milliseconds.

In every computer game, the final level is Chuck Norris. If you don't beat those before, he does.

Chuck Norris can make love to 500 women a day, while destroying all of the cock block ninjas that get in his way.

Once, Chuck Norris took the "Old Dirt Road". Unfortunately he turned it into a 6 lane super highway.

Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies in the morgue.

Chuck Norris can wash a donut.

When you tell Chuck Norris a Chuck Norris fact, he laughs. And then roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris has a million Espurr. When they hug his legs, you better get the bleep out of there, or else you'll die a death worse than a normal Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Don't believe me? Have you

Chuck Norris doesn't rape... No one says no to Chuck Norris!!

Chuck Norris usually showers by buying several dozen puppies and kittens, then starting up his wood chipper.

I carry a gun on my hip because Chuck Norris is too heavy.

Chuck Norris has such a high sperm count that women have to chew before they swallow. That is if they dont drowned.

"Fear is the sustenance that need not be chewed." -Chuck Norris

Today is Chuck Norris' birthday. But he will not age.

The Swiss all own a Chuck Norris Army Knife.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Chuck Norris is edgier than all the ghettos of Detroit.