Chuck Norris hasn't lived the American dream so much as he's skull-fucked it into submission.

Chuck Norris sells his dickfat to cosmetic surgeons as an alternative to collagen.

Only 535 people of thousands have ever survived a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the head. These, now brain damaged, individuals comprise the US Congress.

The leaning tower of Pisa used to stand up straight. That is..... until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it.

Chuck Norris CAN fool the Children Of The Revolution. Then roundhouse kick them in the face.

If you scramble the letters in the words "Chuck Norris" you can spell the words "death" and "roundhouse".

Chuck Norris can walk through a village full of hungry cannibals without concern.

Chuck Norris' opinion is considered to be a fatwa in Japan.

Chuck Norris can deflower a virgin more than once.

Chucky has a Chuck Norris doll

Wet gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris recently won the celebrity 'Dancing with the Stars' TV competition with his rendition of a Rottweiler dragging is ass across the carpet.

Chuck Norris ones fought Chuck Norris. the world exploded the only person that survived was Chuck Norris no one kills Chuck Norris!!!

Surprising Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, only slaughters.

Jesus could turn water into wine. Chuck Norris can turn his own piss into award-winning top shelf whiskey.

dear 'fuckwillweston' i found ur comment rude so i thought id share with you that i fucked Chuck Norris n he loved it and i also fucked ur mum they both loved my big balls!!!

Chuck Norris can smoke a whole bush of ganja without getting stoned.

I say fuck you Chuck Norris

The movie "Delta Force" was extremely hard to make because Chuck had to downplay his abilities. The first few cuts were completely unbelievable.

Your odds of surviving a Chuck Norris attack are slightly less than: -1/100.