Chuck Norris has sesame flavored seed.

On Storage Wars, Chuck Norris is allowed go in all the storage lockers and open all the boxes he wants. Who's going to stop him.

If Chuck Norris had a pennie for every time he roundhouse kicked someone, he would be the richest man ever.

Most people look at MMA fighters and think, "Badasses." Chuck Norris looks at MMA fighters and thinks, "Pussies."

Chuck Norris likes to perform chuckalingus on his ladies.

CHUCK NORRIS IS NOT A LEGEND ...

Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes want to be exactly like him.

Chuck Norris was issued an American Express Platinum Card when he was 9. The President of American Express apologized to Chuck for making him wait so long.

Chuck Norris shaves his scrotum with a potato peeler.

Chuck Norris went for a stroll in the jungle and was ambushed by a very hungry tiger. The attack was brutal, merciless and clinical. The tiger just doesn't have a ghost of chance at all. That is how Chuck

Godzilla is lucky that Chuck Norris doesn't live in Japan

If Chuck Norris says "Lets have fun!", he actually wants to roundhouse kick you to space.

Mr. T, Arnold Shcwarzzenger, and Chuck Norris are standing in front of God. God says to them,"I have call you three here because you are the greatest fighters in the world and I have a place for one

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Chuck Norris...it never made it to the other side.

Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.

An observation by Yoda, "Alive still he was. Then Chuck Norris foot he met".

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked superman and turned him into the late Christopher Reeve.

did you ever notice that quidditch rhymes with spinach so harry potter is actually Popeye and we all know Popeye is actually Chuck Norris's penis so by that logic Chuck Norris's penis eats spinach flexes,

If you ever dream of beating Chuck Norris in a thumb war, the next event in said dream will be a 6734-ton weight falling on you. This is Chuck Norris's roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris doesn't need missiles to bomb other countries, he just sends them copies of his old movies.