If Chuck Norris was black, Obama would have been the US 44th black president.

Chuck Norris can bungee jump without a rope

Chuck Norris never flushes. When he sits, the toilet gulps in fear.

Chuck Norris once gave a canniption fit to a hissy.

Little known fact: True magnetic north is located in the center of Chuck Norris' stomach.

God said "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris said "Say please."

Chuck Norris can make journey stop believin.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a REAL bear.

Chuck Norris doesn't go on the internet, he has every internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.

Chuck Norris's keyboard has an F13 key.

Chuck Norris wont even dare touching a woman. Lucky Justin Beiber

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Everyone knew the world was flat,but they especially didn't want sail around the world because they knew if they fell then Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick them.

A man with 3 arms and 3 legs once attempted to kick Chuck Norris' ass. Chuck dropped him with a flying roundhoue, took a shit on his face and turned him into a Dung Beetle.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris created "Where's Waldo?". He wasn't a fan of the name Waldo, so he round house kicked him in the face and no one has seen Waldo since...hence where's Waldo?

Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, If you see Chuck Norris, your fucked.

Chuck Norris is the general of soulja boy

When slenderman turns around, Chuck Norris is watching!