A secret ingrediant of 5-Hour Energy is Chuck Norris' sperm.

Chuck Norris is suing CNN for using two of his initials in there name...

The day before the MTV awards, Miley was broken in by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris went to the bottom of the bottomless pit, he was so pissed there was a bottom, he roundhouse kicked it and now it truly is bottomless

The real reason the Titanic sank was because Chuck Norris want to get off and go for a swim.

Every night when Chuck Norris goes to sleep, his beard detaches itself, picks up a small knife and sprints towards the city in hopes to match his kill count.

Chuck Norris discovered a new species of butterfy. The aptly named Chucknorrriscus Mortalitas (striking butterfly of death). It goes high into the air and takes a dramatic dive to crash into a human skull,

Iraq didnot crash the planes on 9-11 the pilots saw Chuck Norris killed them self

Chuck Norris fought the Law and Chuck won. No law can hold back Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Drake says YOLO.

Chuck Norris asked his nurse to help him go take a piss. Chuck just had surgery and his Doctor told him not to lift anything over 10 pounds.

Chuck Norris wants YOU!!! - to shut the fuck up.

Little-known fact: Chuck Norris is simply normal, and everybody else is super weak.

Wheaties are actually sun-dried Chuck Norris boogers.

Chuck Norris is allowed to play Stairway To Heaven.

Chuck Norris is friends with Sonic The Hedgehog. They race often, too. Unsurprisingly, Sonic loses every time he doesn't cheat.

Chuck Norris once killed an old man in his childhood.

When Chuck Norris goes swimming sharks hear scary music.

On Thursdays, Chuck Norris plays 7 Card Stud with The Moon, a grizzly and Gomez Adams.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone