Chuck Norris froze Medusa and bite a werewolf

The first pump shotgun was Actually the worlds largest shotgun because it is Chuck Norris's Penis, it destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki when he was getting a hand job from a hot girl.

When Chuck Norris' balls dropped, the Earth itself wobbled on its axis.

Chuck Norris raised the Maine with his penis. Now you don't have to remember it anymore.

The only way to defeat Chuck Norris is to kill yourself, and beat him to the punch

Chuck Norris doesn't need an axe or saw to cut down a tree -- he needs only his foot, or his fist, or his glare.

God is still slightly pissed off at Chuck Norris for using his halo to kill so many people... but he won't say anything about it.

Chuck Norris once chugged a quart of moonshine and immediately pissed out a fifth of Goldschlager.

It used to be called goodminton before Chuck Norris tried it.

Sorry, ..., but this fact has been deleted by Chuck Norris. It will be reposted. Chuck Norris will not delete it that time.

Chuck Norris doesn't urinate, Chuck Norris urines 10.

Jesus wears a WWCND (what would Chuck Norris do) bracelet.

One time while hunting deer, Chuck Norris made a kill shot from 300 yards. No big deal u say? his weapon of choice was a squirt gun.

Yesterday, while on his way to Wal*Mart, Chuck Norris ran a stop sign...up Steven Seagal's ass.

Chuck Norris is the reason that the Army had to change their slogan, "Army of One".

Chuck Norris once tried to defeat Garry Kasparov in a game of chess. When Norris lost, he won in life by roundhouse kicking Kasparov in the side of the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't have any greens or potatoes with his steak. He has a second steak.

Chuck Norris perportadly walked into a salon for a pedicure. Nine months later 17 redheaded baby boys were born in local hospitals.

The first pump shotgun was Actually the worlds largest shotgun because it is Chuck Norris's Penis, it destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki when he was getting a hand job from a hot girl.

Chuck Norris can snipe you with a spitball