The children's song 'Knick-Knack-Paddy-Whack' is factually based on an incident that occured on Chuck Norris' 70th birthday in which he beat the hell out of 15 UFC fighters in a rice paddy using only his

Chuck Norris made SCREAM scream so bad he drops his mouth

Chuck Norris is touring Yemen in his new Hummer with his sterio amp cranked up playing "Hava Nagila".

god created jesus-Chuck Norris created god

Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.

Chuck Norris dont need glass to drink juice the juice is so frighteen Chuck Norris what it is soldid

When Chuck Norris dropped out of kindergarten, a huge crack was formed in the tectonic plates causing a 100 ft tsunami in Japan which killed 1000000 people, and destroyed property worth $999999999999.

Chuck Norris easily won on 'Iron Chef America' by microwaving 2 ham & cheese Hotpockets. Prior to the show, he advised the judges he would provide them with thier choice of either Hotpockets or a knuckle

Chuck Norris always wins at "Battleship." No one has the guts to even fire a shot.

Sam Jackson is the only person to ever out-surf Chuck Norris at Chadderton baths. Incidentally, Chuck roundhouse kicked him in the face, and the force put him in a roundhouse induced coma for the rest

Little known fact: Chuck Norris actually discovered the theory of relativity tattooed on his ass after a weekend in Vegas.

Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.

The reason no one has found tupacs and notorious bigs killers are because it was Chuck Norris who killed them

Question: Which of the following is most likely to occur? a) Having a threesome with two hot women b) Winning the lottery c) Discovering $10 billion of gold d) Kicking Chuck Norris' ass Answer: Don't know

Making eye contact with Chuck Norris is a great way to get your spine removed

Chuck Norris broke the mold after he made himself.

Chuck Norris made Twisted Sister take it.

Chuck Norris does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Chuck Norris.

There once was a Chuck Norris toilet paper brand, but it would not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris once beat John Wayne in a armwrestling match. But, that was when he was 1 and a half.