Chuck Norris died ten years ago; however, death doesn't have guts to tell him.

Chuck Norris is a poet and his feet know it. Each one has an impression of your face on it.

The local name for Mt. Everest means "Mountain almost as large as the manhood of Chuck Norris."

Once Chuck Norris peed against a fence. A police officer saw him and said - That's against the law! - No, said Chuck. It is against the fence!

Some people say that god can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck Norris went to walmart once to buy a new laptop. they told him which was the best price. it was the $9.99 so chuck roundhouse kicked them and said i never asked for the price

Chuck Norris is the best in the West. He also has the North, East and South totally covered.

Chuck Norris can eat tomato soup with chopsticks.

If you ever find yourself screaming Chuck Norris' name during sex, then you must send a cheque of your life savings to him and immediately commit suicide.

Chuck Norris uses a Glock as a PEZ dispenser.

Chuck Norris went to the white house and crapped and pissed on President Barack Obama's desk, just because he is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.

Some people have wondered why Chuck Norris never played hockey. Would you want to face Chuck Norris with blades attached to his feet?

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick your face... with his hands.

Chuck Norris does not brush his teeth with a toothbrush and toothpaste. instead, he uses steel wool and hydrochloric acid.

Chuck Norris doesn't take an arrow to the knee, he takes his knee to the arrow

Chuck Norris has to visit the dentist twice a month in order to remove the jawbreakers stuck between his teeth.

My dad cries whenever i threaten him with calling Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can watch 3-D movies wearing only a monocle.

Chuck Norris and Super man had a bet,the bet was the looser had to wear his underwear out of his pants.