If Chuck Norris told YOU to jump off a bridge, you should thank him profusely and do it immediately.

Chuck Norris is so tough you could sharpen a knife just by holding it in the air next to his face.

Bald people once did have hair. Until they saw Chuck Norris.

Some people are lactose intolerant. Dairy is Chuck Norris intolerant.

Chuck Norris just look at him..

the movie "dont mess with zohan" is based on the true story of Chuck Norris' life

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, Water gets Chuck Norrised

Chuck Norris can slice through a katana blade with a loaf of french bread.

Chuck Norris once created a rugskin bear.

9/11 happened because the Taliban are too spineless to attack Chuck Norris head-on.

Chuck Norris is the only officer in the military with the ranking of 'Darth'.

If the president ever pushes the "Big Red Button", Chuck Norris' cell phone will ring.

Once, when crossing a RR track while riding his horse, Chuck Norris was struck by an Amtrak train. He was the only survivor.

It's a little known fact that Chuck Norris's cat had a part in Harry Potter. To conceal her identity they called her " Mrs Norris".

Chuck Norris can go to places that say "Do Not Enter"

Chuck norris can turn invisible by daring light to hit him.

Chuck Norris can leave a message before the beep.

One round-house-kick from Chuck Norris can deliver eternal energy to Earth

Chuck Norris has some gold, frankincense, and myrrh sitting on his mantelpiece, next to the three embalmed skulls of the so-called 'wise' men.

When Sir Edmund Hillary first climbed to the summit of Everest, he saw empty beer cans, condoms and cigar butts strewn around, plus a giant snow angel and the words 'CHUCK NORRIS BEAT YOU, BITCH' written