The first roundhouse kick of Chuck Norris made Pangaea turn into six different continents, THEN he decided which was the North and South

Chuck Norris can knock you down with a feather. But he prefers a savage roundhouse kick to the brain.

Chuck Norris can leave after checking out of The Hotel California.

Chuck Norris always gives you one phone call. Heh.

Chuck Norris easily won the Iditarod dog sled race by pulling a sled load of 16 dogs, 800 pounds of supplies and with a dead sperm whale chained behind it.

It's not that Chuck Norris is Bullet Proof, it's that Bullets aren't Chuck Norris Proof

Chuck Norris went to walmart once to buy a new laptop. they told him which was the best price. it was the $9.99 so chuck roundhouse kicked them and said i never asked for the price

Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

Typing 'walker' into a search engine will yield more results for 'Paul Walker' than for 'Walker Texas Ranger'. Which is why Chuck Norris murdered him.

Chuck Norris shits gold bars.

Chuck norris blows up ballons with his nose

I KILLED CHUCK NORRIS! lol just kidding, Chuck Norris killed me.

Daenerys Targaryen is the "Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea," the "Breaker of Chains," and "Mother of Dragons." She would trade all that and more to become "Woman of Chuck

Chuck Norris got the most kills in a battle ground without no pvp gear or weapon

Today is Chuck Norris' Yesterday

The term absolute zero refers to the number of people who will survive if Chuck Norris decides to go on an all-out killing rampage.

When Chuck Norris was younger, he wore cowboy boots, had a red beard and could deliver a fatal roundhouse kick. Knowing this one could imply that Chuck Norris has always been awesome.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris can literally kick a person's ass into next week. Their head will travel five days farther.

If Chuck Norris coughs on you, you owe him 50 bucks.