Chuck Norris is Luke Skywalker's real father.

Chuck Norris once went over Mach 4 using a hang glider.

God modeled his beard look after Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris is my godfather. As he is yours.

Chuck Norris does not do drugs. In order to get a buzz he climbs radio station transmition towers during thunderstorms and drinks Redbull & Captain Morgan Rum from a pair of 55 gallon steel drums.

The only way that Chuck Norris can get high is via Jack Daniels I.V. push TKO.

When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.

Chuck Norris does not navigate through a corn maze... The corn merely realigns itself in chucks favor out of fear of being roundhouse kicked in the head!

Chuck Norris lit a fart on the Hindenburg.

Godzilla is lucky that Chuck Norris doesn't live in Japan

The rope that they made to hang Saddam Hussien was made out of Chuck Norris' beard hair. It never released its grip.

Jack Bauer needs 24 hours to save the day. Chuck Norris needs 24 minutes.

Chuck Norris' treehouse has a basement.

Peanut Butter has a Chuck Norris allergy...

Giving Chuck Norris head is the leading cause of amnesia.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer...

Many people do not realize that Chuck Norris has been a bouncer for many, many years. EVERY guy that's ever mouthed off to Chuck has had his face bounced off the asphalt.

Chuck Norris's beard can cure breast cancer.

Sinkholes are not caused by water under the earth, they are results of someone questioning Chuck Norris' volleyball spiking ability.