When Chuck Norris uses a bathroom, he can stink it out for up to twenty-three years. Many around America's south have been turned into tourist attractions.

Chuck Norris was challenged to a fight by the high school bully, so Chuck proceeded to kick the crap out of him. Chuck was in the fifth grade at the time.

Chuck Norris is a cunt!....hang on theres someone at the door

A woman wanted to commit suicide so she gave Chuck Norris a blow job.

The Big Kahuna is simply Hawaiian coast guard slang for the approaching of the Chuck Norris dong.

In "Way of the Dragon",Bruce Lee bribed Chuck Norris to let him live.

Chuck Norris once beat the entire New York jets football team by himself. And every play he ran was a punt!

Chuck Norris only ever broke a sweat once, because it stayed broken.

Chuck Norris once pissed into a petrol truck....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris once farted while holding a bic lighter between his bearded ass cheeks. The result is now known as the Atomic Bomb.

Nike says, 'Just Do It'. Chuck Norris says, 'shut the fuck up, boy'.

Chuck Norris can perform a full frontal lobotomy through fear.

Chuck Norris is the only computer system that beats a Mac or a PC. Too bad all it does is round house kicks the user.

Chuck Norris can wheelie a unicycle.

R.I.P. Tarzan..Jane Killed him for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can pluck out individual Hydrogen and Oxygen atoms from a water molecule.

When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he makes lemonade...and then goes to sunbathe on the beach.

Chuck Norris is what the deal is.

Chuck Norris hates land mines because everytime he steps on one he has to go out buy a new pair of boots.

In 2014 Chuck Norris invested 1 cent with a Wall Street investment firm. As of today he became a billionaire.