Chuck Norris knows the difference between a cow's tail and water faucet.

Chuck Norris does not need a remote, he just tells the TV what channel and volume he wants.

Chuck Norris is friends with Sonic The Hedgehog. They race often, too. Unsurprisingly, Sonic loses every time he doesn't cheat.

Chuck Norris can waterboard you with a jar of M n' Ms

If there was a game about Chuck Norris you'd be scared to play it because every time you'd open it up it would roundhouse kick you in the balls.

Chuck Norris is a pacifist. He can pass-a-fist through your face.

The United Nations has known for many years that Chuck Norris contains weapons of mass destruction, but NOBODY enters Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris is a better agent than perry the platypus, And all other agents.

Oily gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not leave tips. Waitresses pay Chuck for the privilege of serving him.

Chuck Norris fucked me one day and it sucked Brad fucked me and is was AMAZING

Chuck Norris hangs out on #jquery at irc.freenode.net.

Chuck Norris once pissed into a petrol truck....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can squeeze lime juice out of a lemon.

Chuck Norris doesn't get an arrow to the knee; the arrow gets Chuck Norris in ITS knee

JACKSON ... PHAHAH FUCKIN HARDEST GUY IN ROCHDALE HERE REPPIN 2K9 BIG TIME,, PLUS MY SISTER IS FITTTTT !! OFFT SOME NICE PUSSY ON THAT BITCH xx CHUCK NORRIS X

Ever notice just how much Chuck Norris' asshole and your face resemble each other?

Chuck Norris cut himself while trimming his beard. When he was 6.

Jack Bauer needs 24 hours to save the day. Chuck Norris needs 24 minutes.

Chuck Norris once made a kid cry with one eye.