The reason why Chuck Norris can get away with all of his thousands of murders is because he his 'preventing future crimes'.

The is more than one way to skin a cat. Chuck Norris knows thousands. It was a childhood hobby

Chuck Norris silenced noise.

Chuck Norris can draw a circle with edges without a pencil.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

Chuck Norris is the reason people believe in the grim reaper. the grim reaper came about when Chuck Norris killed a dead person.

Chuck Norris used Thor's hammer to tack a picture up on his living room wall.

Chuck Norris knows the difference between a cow's tail and water faucet.

Madonna was a quiet unassuming virgin before her date with Chuck Norris.

If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.

Chuck Norris once took a dump on the African savannah while on safari. Later, 2,300 dung beetles were found OD'ing in a state ecstasy.

Mel Gibson pretended to be a Lethal Weapon. Chuck Norris is a Lethal Weapon.

Chuck Norris can compare apples to oranges... they're both fruits.

if curiosity killed the cat, Chuck Norris reincarnated it

Chuck Norris is the reason The Divynals touch themselves.

If the sun met Chuck Norris, it would burn up and die.

Chuck Norris made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.

if you shoot Chuck Norris, the bullet dies

Everyone's heard the story of the boy who cried "WOLF!" three times. No one has heard the one about his cousin who cried "CH-!" only once. Not that it mattered... by the time the sound

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make him eat Tequila jello shots.