Chuck Norris can literally hand you your ass in a handbag. And then pull it out and kick it up between your ears.

Chuck Norris does not eat Honey, he eats the bees

Of course Chuck Norris screwed Madonna.

Chuck Norris is the pricipal of the School Of Hard Knocks. Or as it's officially called, The Charles Norris Xavior's School For Gifted Bastard Offspring Of Lord Norris. It is responsible for all human

Chuck Norris staged the moon landing in his back garden

Chuck Norris can see the Illuminati but the Illuminati can't see Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once made a classical music station play the theme to "Walker: Texas Ranger" for 12 straight hours.

Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

People ask for the time.. Time asks Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris keeps a small collapsable guillotine in the trunk of his Hummer.

Chuck Norris can mine obsidian with a wooden pickaxe. In Minecraft.

Hannibal Lecter wears a "Chuck Norris is a badass" T-shirt.

Bees sting Chuck Norris for a less painful death.

Chuck Norris is so cool, every time his name is mentioned a man is cured of impotence.

Chuck Norris can play dubstep on a harp.

The secret ingredient in Miracle Grow is Chuck Norris sweat. It scares plants into growing faster.

Chuck Norris clears his nose with an Uzi.

if the impossible happens and Chuck Norris dies then the world will be covered with darkness

The Eiffel Tower was originally built by Chuck Norris out of the scrap metal in his back yard, as a monument to his manhood. When he got 12, he decided the monument didn't quite live up to what it was

Chuck Norris once appeared on Cartoon Network. CN is now known as Chuck Norris.