Chuck Norris once composed an unfunny Chuck Norris fact. No one laughed. He killed everyone. You are reading that fact now.

if someone where to shoot you Chuck Norris could come out of nowhere kill you 5 times and kill the guy who shoots for trying to take his kill before the bullets even left the barrel

Chuck Norris cooked what Meg Ryan was having.

If you find Chuck Norris while playing hide and seek, you lose.

Fear of spiders is Arachnophobia Fear of tight spaces is Claustrophobia Fear of love is Philophobia Fear of gravity is Barophobia Fear of time is Chronophobia Fear of ideas is Ideophobia Fear of speed

when a robber steal stuff from people they say its like taking candy from a baby. but when they steal from Chuck Norris it's not as easy as they think.

Chuck Norris can light a fire.... underwater.

Chuck Norris sired the E*Trade baby.

Chuck Norris did not play high school or college football, thus sparing hundreds from injury.

Chuck norris eats "man bear pig" bacon for breakfast with al gore blood v8 juice

Chuck Norris can "get a grip on yourself".

Chuck Norris doesn't think-HE KNOWS.

Chuck Norris is so tough that he is friends with Martha Stewart.

Chuck Norris went into a Catholic confession booth and made the preist confess to over one hundred unsolved pedophilia cases. Then Norris jammed a crucifix up his ass and emptied two Uzis into his face.

Chuck Norris once counted to infinity- ininity times. For god's sake don't ask how that is possible.

Chuck Norris can make a banana split after he eats it.

Chuck Norris can get revenge for something you may or may not do.

pearld harbour was burned because Chuck Norris pee on that with high explosive urine

Chuck Norris makes Weebles fall down.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.