Chuck Norris recently had his entire scrotum tattooed black, just to show everyone who the fuck Chuck is. He whiled away the 15-hour process by lifting weights and recieving blowjobs.

September 11, 2001- The World Paper Airplane Throwing Championships were held in California...Chuck Norris won when his 4 best throws landed somewhere on the East Coast.

A man walks up to Chuck Norris and ask for a lite...May he rest in peace.

FATWA senders-- Molly Norris is Chuck Norris's little sister

Chuck Norris makes Happy(the dwarf) be like Grumpy. If you have a "stay off my lawn" sign, this does not apply to Chuck Norris. he can stand wherever the hell he wants! If you see a spider in

When Chuck Norris sees a screamer, he roundhouse kicks it so hard, that the ghost gets hit.

Little-known fact: Chuck Norris taught Ike Turner how to play guitar. And the ancient art of the backhand.

Chuck Norris pees out lightning and poos out fist.

Chuck Norris can listen to music without speakers.

Chuck Norris has a life size tattoo of his face on his face. Rush Limbaugh has a life size tattoo of Chuck Norris' ass on his face.

In summer time, when Chuck Norris goes outside, he doesn't go in the shade. The sun hides behind the clouds.

Chuck Norris skinned Waldo and put it on, waiting for new prey to find him.

If you see Chuck Norris fighting a bear, don't help Chuck Norris, help the bear. "

There are two meanings for The Rock: 1) Professional wrestler Dwayne Johnson, and 2) Chuck Norris' dick.

Chuck Norris did not celebrate the new year, just as we don't celebrate the second

Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to shower, he dares dirt to touch him...

Chuck Norris can sen a text message from either his BlackBerry or one of his DingleBerries.

Chuck Norris knows where Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris' dogs pick up their own shit.