Chuck Norris can lick his eyebrows and breathe through his ears. That's why the ladies love him so much.

Chuck Norris' treehouse has a basement.

Chuck Norris has a gentle side and it has only killed 100 ninjas.

When Chuck Norris gets hot, he decides to take a niiiiiiice dip in quicksand.

Chuck Norris can blow up a balloon with both of his lips tied behind his back.

CHUCK NORRIS is dreams has colors!

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just called the islands.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Steve Jobs recently rickrolled Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' lawnmower is equipped with a battery of hellfire missiles.

Chuck Norris ate a moose before he killed it.

Chuck Norris one rode a trike. When he got off of it, it was a motorcycle ,measuring to be 16 feet tall and 72 feet long, with mounted grenade launchers and bazookas. He still keeps it in his garage.

The Swiss all own a Chuck Norris Army Knife.

If you ever suggest that Chuck Norris might be gay, make no mistake, you will be dead before you even see the movement in the darkness.

Chuck Norris was the orginal sculptor of Mount Rushmore. He completed the entire project using only a bottle opener and a drywall trowel.

Chuck Norris did the worm up K2.

In space no-one can hear you scream... tell that bullshit to Chuck Norris and expect to find out just how wrong you can be.

There is a new Chuck Norris Visa Credit Card available. If you accrue enough Chuck Norris award points, he will personally punch the person of your choice in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't rape... No one says no to Chuck Norris!!

Chuck Norris doesn't relieve himself in the bathroom.... He scares the poop away.