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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris has never used a #2 pencil. Only #1 is acceptable to him.

Someone once told Chuck Norris that a roundhouse kick is not the best kick. This has been noted in history as the worst mistake ever made.

When Chuck Norris' F/A-18 Super Hornet fighter jet was struck by a ground to air missle, he ejaculated over Pakistan.

Mighty Mouse often sang "Here I Come to Save the Day!" The next and little-known line of that song was "Because Chuck Norris Has My Back!"

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

An unarmed Chuck Norris was once surrounded by 10,000 heavily armed VietCong. They immediately surrendered, knowing they never had a chance in hell to survive a battle against Chuck.

Chuck Norris once visited with the Cherokee Nation Tribal Council. It was there that Chief Running Wolf presented him the honorary Native American name of: Chuck Norris.

Converse were originally called Chuck Norris...not Chuck Taylor.

Chuck Norris can slice your head off with a baseball bat.

CHUCK NORRIS IS ACTUALLY B******* O FROM LONDON

Chuck Norris has been known to cudgel women to death with their own orgasms.

Chuck Norris is the only man who has hit 5 home runs while playing in the Super Bowl.

The greatest discovery of mankind is Chuck Norris. You don't have to ask 'why?'.

It is not the final countdown Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it and made it the first

Lord Voldemort refers Chuck Norris as He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named.

Many a class 5 Oklahoma tornado were started when Chuck Norris was preparing to lasso a steer.