When in Rome, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicks you in the face wearing a toga.

If you google "What is the purpose of life?", a picture of Chuck Norris pops up.

Chuck Norris ate the fat bastard who ate all the pies.

Chuck Norris won the Tour De France...on reverse

Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.

Chuck Norris once farted on someone and was a very gross one that the man got sick with a disease. This disease is now what we call: Ebola.

Chuck Norris can be a better villain than Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Snaptrap, Venom, Lizard, and.....well any other villain. Hes a better villain than anyone.

Chuck Norris turned up at Buckingham Palace for his knighthood seven hours late and reeking of alcohol and pussy, and wearing only a flak jacket and christmas lights. When the queen touched his shoulder

I dont care how you, anyone you know, or anyone in general, Chuck Norris is the reason.

In fact there is no Google satellite views, just Chuck Norris eyes that he lets you to use it.

Chuck Norris can go platinum on a Blank CD

Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh** from anybody.

Chuck Norris doesn't 'open' bottles of beer. He simply bites the top off and chugs it.

Chuck Norris' programs never exit, they terminate.

When Chuck Norris was created, he destroyed his own mold.

Kings buy Chuck Norris size beds.

Chuck Norris watches the Watchmen.

Chuck Norris Has Three Twins

Chuck Norris can pick an apple out of a basket full of oranges