Each hair in Chuck Norris's beard contributes to make the world's largest DDOS.

Chuck Norris Found The Ark Of The Covenant... He Currently Uses It As A Coffee Table.

Miley Cyrus wanted a romantic relationship with Chuck Norris but in the end, she just wasn't able twerk things out with him.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

Chuck Norris can't feel pain because pain is afraid of him.

what happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object? nobody knows there is only one Chuck Norris

As a toddler, Chuck Norris built a fort out of legos. That fort was known as The Alamo.

the reason why babies cry when they are born is because they know they've been brought into the same world as Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris strapped a bomb onto himself and ran for an Al-Qaeda camp. Once there, he triggered it and kept on running.

Contrary to popular belief, the Titanic didn't hit an iceberg. The ship was off course and ran into Chuck Norris while he was doing the backstroke across the Atlantic.

Chuck Norris's power level is over 9000......in his sleep.

Recently a heckler told Chuck Norris "I'll bet you've seen Steel Magnolias". Chuck immediately replied "I'll bet you are gonna see the imprint of my fist in the middle of your face".

Chuck Norris will beat you with his nunchucks. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you with his Chuck Taylors. Chuck Norris will feed you to the woodchucks. Don't fuck with Chuck!!1

Chuck Norris doesn't know drama on TNT

Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"

Chuck Norris was the first avenger.

It takes Chuck Norris 5 seconds to kick your ass... 80 times

There are 5 rules that can be applied to almost every Chuck Norris movie. Rule 1: Chuck Norris never reloads Rule 2: Chuck Norris always hits first Rule 3: You can't run or hide from Chuck Norris Rule

Gangsters scare their children with stories of Keyser Soze. Keyser Soze just says the words 'Chuck' or 'Norris' to scare his; even Soze wouldn't fully say 'Chuck Norris' to his kids, that would be sick.

Chuck Norris hates Internet Explorer. And he is going to roundhouse kick the fuckin shit out of you if you use it. Get Firefox!