When Chuck Norris was a kid, the Tooth Fairy left the keys to Fort Knox under his pillow, in exchange for a molar.

Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.

Chuck Norris wishes that he could understand this 'fear' shit.

Too much love will NOT kill you, eevery time but a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face will kill you. Eevery time.

When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.

Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes. He disembowels them.

Chuck Norris can draw cash from ATMs using UNO cards.

Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.

Mel Gibson pretended to be a Lethal Weapon. Chuck Norris is a Lethal Weapon.

Satan would donate his soul to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' natural pubic musk has the same properties as chloroform.

Chuck Norrise's. e-mail [email protected]

Chuck Norris' first car was Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Wubbzy says wow wow wow!

Chuck Norris's sex position is.......CHUCK FUCK!

Chuck Norris was not born. He kicked his mother off of him.

Chuck Norris was recently asked if he was able to multi task. Chuck said "most certainly, a guy mouthed off to me at the grocery store so I bitch slapped him then I pimp slapped him".

It was called Goodminton until Chuck Norris started playing.

So you hate Chuck Norris? Well it was nice knowing you. I hope you had good life.

By some odd reason,Chuck Norris is everywhere.That means he can be roundhouse kicking you,and jesus at the same time.