Chuck Norris can beat the impossible game......without dying.

When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he destroys an orphanage

#shanimalrocks Chuck Norris mmmmhhh...inna BAdWay!

Chuck Norris can pleasure a woman by simply pointing his fingers and saying "Booyah".

When life gives Chuck Norris lemons, he demands oranges and gets them.

Miley Cyrus wanted a romantic relationship with Chuck Norris but in the end, she just wasn't able twerk things out with him.

Chuck Norris can't get through his steak breakfast without a fifth of whiskey.

Chuck Norris' buisness cards simply say: 'Look at me.' You will then be staring down the barrel of a twelve-guage.

Satan worships Chuck Norris

Flash the superhero tried running from Chuck Norris.....he didnt get far

Chuck Norris' sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.

As a rule, on weekdays, Chuck Norris eats lunch at Home Depot. That's why his farts smell like rusty roofing nails soaked in turpentine.

I hate Chuck Norris! And now I'm dead in 2 seconds

Chuck Norris won on last weeks Iron Chef America T.V. show by microwaving two ham & cheese Hotpockets.

Chuck Norris invented taking credit for other people's inventions. But he has also invented heaps of stuff

Chuck Norris drinks a gallon of oil every day to lubricate his nerves of steel.

By some odd reason,Chuck Norris is everywhere.That means he can be roundhouse kicking you,and jesus at the same time.

Fear itself fears Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not need a remote, he just tells the TV what channel and volume he wants.

Chuck Norris won on 'Dancing With The Stars' by BBQ'ing a rack of pork ribs.