Chuck Norris does not fear cancer. cancer fears Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.

Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.

Chuck Norris wears two cats impaled with croquet hoops as flip-flops.

Chuck Norris once stared at a solar eclipse using a pair of binoculars. The seared binoculars are now the world's first dual lense 3D kaleidoscope.

Ken Grossman, owner of Sierra Nevada Brewery, drinks Chuck Norris Beer.

Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.

Chuck Norris doesn't have chest hairs: he has a series of venemous anemenites that, if sting you, can cause mental retardation

Chuck Norris lit a fart on the Hindenburg.

Rattlesnakes FEAR a Chuck Norris bite.

Chuck Norris once finished a round of golf at 72 under par.

TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.

Calvin Klein always used to wear Chuck Norris' discarded slacks.

Chuck Norris doesn't get flu shots because he nevers gets sick.

Life is like a box of chocolates until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you.

Chuck Norris invented the word "kill" as well as other words like "die", "beer" and "cunnilingus".

Chuck Norris invented rap when his heart started beating

Chuck Norris can beat an Englishman in an impersonating British accents.

Chuck Norris' carpet is made of loose LEGO bricks

Before you fight Chuck Norris, he makes you write your will.