In space, no one can hear you scream..... apart from Chuck Norris. He hears everything!

Little known fact: Chuck Norris is also a world-class classical pianist. He recently quit, however, stating that he hated playing over the sounds of audience members' heads exploding out of sheer sensory

In the filming of "The Way Of The Dragon", Chuck Norris was heavilly bribed to lose to Bruce Lee.

This is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris kills cyclops by punching them between the eyes. Chuck Norris kills all the bad guys without reloading. Chuck Norris is the greatest at being the greatest at everything.

Chuck Norris' last name is in the android dictionary

Chuck Norris can snatch your wife's golden watch in far less time than it takes a Peeping Tom to watch your wife's golden snatch!

After a pick up game of basketball, Chuck Norris made 42 baskets out of 30 attempts.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

Chuck Norris once cast a fishing line into the Atlantic Ocean and caught 243 fish...then the hook hit the water

Chuck Norris once removed a thorn from Big Foot's little toe. That's why it's impossible to track Chuck Norris through the wilderness because Big Foot covers his trail with his own footprints.

Chuck Norris doesnt have nightmares, nightmares have Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris' eyes can un-pixellate any criminal's face on the TV.

It can look like chicken, taste like chicken, and feel like chicken, but if Chuck Norris says it's beef...it's beef. NO QUESTIONS!!!

Chuck Norris doesn't drive, because all roads lead to Chuck Norris.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.

When Chuck Norris goes to jail playing monopoly, his racing car starts raping other inmates

The Holy Grail has not been recovered yet because nobody is dumb enough to try to take away Chuck Norris' favorite beer stein.

Chuck Norris rode his sway-backed mule named Thudly to the 2014 Kentucky Derby winners circle.

Chuck Norris can make a virgin go ass-to-mouth on a first date.