Chuck Norris doesn't breathe air, air breathes Chuck Norris's foot.

Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes

Chuck Norris can go platinum on a Blank CD

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.

Chuck Norris has a honorary membership at the UNO.

If you look directly at Chuck Norris you will go blind and loose your will to live.

Out puts Chuck Norris.

Of course Chuck Norris screwed Barbara Walters back in the 20's.

Chuck Norris can live on the dark Side of the moon............naked

When Chuck Norris asks for change for a penny, he always gets it.

Women are known to undergo involuntary ovulation at the sight of Chuck Norris.

A secret ingrediant of 5-Hour Energy is Chuck Norris' sperm.

Each time you rate this, Chuck Norris hits Obama with Charlie Sheen and says, "Who's winning now?!"

Chuck Norris can put a plane in reverse.

When Chuck Norris enjoys some spare time from kicking ass he sits in his tool shed whacking off.

If Chuck Norris was a beverage, he would be a big gulp, because that's what people would when faced by him.

If Chuck Norris says to you "Truth or dare?", he's not playing the game...

If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

Chuck Norris abducts aliens

"Welcome to the jungle" starts playing out of nowhere whenever a dr starts giving Chuck Norris a colonoscopy