Chuck Norris once destroyed a city to prove a point When asked Chuck Norris said The point was That I can destroy a city.

Chuck Norris can cure PMS with his dick.

What happens between you and Chuck Norris stays between you and Chuck Norris

It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.

Chuck Norris is what ancient Greeks used to protect their mazes.

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

Chuck Norris can pluck a live chicken with his toes.

Chuck Norris oncd spent his entire weekend eating Duracell Batteries. He did this so that on Monday he could crap out a fire-developed tank round to fire at the short bus that drives by his house. He then

there are 2 kinds of people, people who believe in Chuck Norris and the dead

Chuck Norris' gaydar is so finely tuned he can tell if you have EVER stared at another man's ass and will brutally kill you accordingly.

Chuck Norris once rhymed "pain" with "balls." No one called him on it.

Pele is the Chuck Norris of soccer.

Chuck Norris once won a game of croquet while holding an enraged gorilla in a half-nelson.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if it was true that he had cheated Death. Chuck Norris merely laughed and said "Fool! I am Death" and proceeded to roundhouse kick him mercilessly.

Chuck Norris doesn't think-HE KNOWS.

While playing Blackjack, Chuck Norris can bust without hitting. He just chooses not to because Chuck Norris never busts

Chuck Norris hates corey FO FREE!!!!!!!

Chuck Norris loves all of his dogs, cats and horses .... with onions and gravy paired with a yak cheese, condor foie gras schmear on melba toast and a gallon jug of muscatel.

Chuck Norris melted Mt Kilauea with a 6 pack of ice cold beer.

If you play the theme from Walker: Texas Ranger backwards, the universe will implode. That's why Chuck Norris once recommended that nobody ever do that, in his intimidating baritone.