The reason the last Ice Age ended was because Chuck Norris had gotten bored with all the snow and ice, and yawned, melting all the glaciers.

Chuck Norris is what the butler saw.

NASA scientists concur prolonged visual exposure to Chuck Norris can result in: blindness, nausea, and partial paralysis.

The ice Age was created when Chuck Norris accidentally left his freezer door open.

Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.

When Chuck Norris goes to jail playing Monopoly, by the time he gives the bank $50 for bail, etc; his battleship has already murdered ten other inmates.

Chuck Norris is the only true American patriot. If you suspect that .... you are gonna die by a swift roundhouse kick to your face. Nobody has ever found out who the kicker is.

When Chuck Norris was a teenager, he spanked his monkey with a baboon.

Chuck Norris splits firewood with his shlong.

Chuck Norris' car has homicide doors

Its called the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick because it's delivered by Chuck Norris and when it strikes you, your head spins around and then you fly into a house.

Chuck Norris made the mayans extinct.

Chuck Norris doesnt get sick, he holds viruses hostage.

Chuck Norris had to stop setting his phone to vibrate, the earthqaukes where killing people.

Chuck Norris once 'competed' in the World Ultra Heavyweight Boxing Championship. There were no survivors in the stadium. And the tournament.

Chuck Norris can "shit fire and save matches"!

Chuck Norris swallows sword-swallowers.

Chuck Norris' favorite handgun is an M1A1 Abrams.

Harm never gets in Chuck Norris' way

Chuck Norris told the united states that russia was goin to nuc them during the cold war