Chuck Norris doesn't get an arrow to the knee; the arrow gets Chuck Norris in ITS knee

God used to make frequent trips to earth to talk to various people. Upon seeing Chuck Norris' manly good looks God vanquished himself to heaven, never to be seen again out of embarassment of his own self

Chuck Norris can rhyme with Orange

Chuck norris tried to crank that soulja boy but it wouldn't crank up

The Pope once tried to bless Chuck Norris. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can pick an apple off a orange tree and make the best damn lemonade you have ever had.

The ice Age was created when Chuck Norris accidentally left his freezer door open.

Errol Flynn once tried to grow a Chuck Norris beard. Which of course is why he died such a brutally violent death.

Chuck Norris can eat a lemon with his eyes open

Chuck Norris was once caught without a ticket on the train. The inspector was fined $110.

when Chuck Norris says “i'm cold.” the whole world goes “A……A.....ACHOOOOOO!!!!!!!”

Chuck Norris invented irony by pissing a hole through a toilet.

Pick a number between 1 and 10. No matter what it is, you are wrong, and Chuck Norris is now on his way to brutally murder you.

Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, Water gets Chuck Norrised

Chuck Norris can spell the word "one" with the number 1.

Chuck Norris does not ask when stores open. Store managers ask "Mr Norris, when would you like us to open".

For Chuck Norris, NOT skinning you alive the moment he sets eyes on you is considered one of his warmest greetings.

Adam and Eve did not become afraid because they ate the fruit. They were afraid of Chuck Norris because they knew what was good for them.

The force is with Chuck Norris. Always.

Chuck Norris once started a fire with only what was around him. He was on an iceberg.