Chuck Norris once used the Grim Reaper as a Sherper up Everest but Roundhouse kicked him in the Death Zone and summitted ALONE

Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

In his spare time Chuck Norris likes to practice roundhouse kicks in corn fields, This is why we have crop circles!

Chuck Norris has a chainsaw bayonet attached to the end of his gatling gun. That's how he likes it.

there is no Global warming. when Chuck Norris farts the globe warms.

Robin Hood was partially based on Chuck Norris, in that Norris would rob from the rich. But Robin Hood never roundhouse-kicked the poor. Or the rich, for that matter.

Chuck norris didn't do anything for a klondike bar, and he still got one.

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road? Answer:To get on Chuck Norris's good side.

When Medusa stared at Chuck Norris SHE turned to stone.

Chuck Norris can send his roundhouse kicks through the mail to everywhere, since he knows every address in the entire world! So don't be surprised if you see someone's head instantly explode from opening

Rocks learn from Chuck Norris on how to be rocks.

Chuck Norris has a mostache farm

Chuck Norris' moustache & beard is actually a cleverly disguised manicured extension of his nasal hair just simply because it is impossible for him to grow hair on his steel jaw.

Chuck Norris once farted while holding a bic lighter between his bearded ass cheeks. The result is now known as the Atomic Bomb.

Chuck Norris once defeated the Statue of Liberty in a Stop Dance Contest.... at kindergarten!

chuck Norris died and lived to tell the tale!

Chuck Norris calls up Billy Ray Cyrus at least once a week to laugh at him.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

Chuck norris doesn't make love. He re-invents it

Chuck Norris can walk on water. With his hands