Chuck Norris drugged Bill Cosby. Cosby woke up nine hours later in front of his computer, where he realized he just told the net to meme him.

Chuck Norris' underwear can turn a clothes dryer inside out.

The Loch Ness Monster is a myth. Chuck Norris was just taking his pet dinosaur out for a friendly swim.

Hannibal Lecter wears a "Chuck Norris is a badass" T-shirt.

When playing Minecraft, make a new world with the name and seed both being "Chuck Norris". Even on peaceful, you will be surrounded by 1,000,000 endermen when at the spawn.

Chuck Norris' DNA is a quadruple-helix. You just have to take his word for it, as anyone trying to see it under a microscope gets their eye poked out.

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn; he dares it to grow.

An anagram for Walker Texas Ranger is KARATE WRANGLER SEX. I don't know what that is, but it sounds AWESOME.

When does the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick strike? The answer is, anywhere, at any time, so hide in a hole forever...just in case he is looking for you.

Chuck Norris was the original star for the movie Pacific Rim. The director had to fire Chuck when he continued to single handedly kick the shit out of the Kijus.

Chuck Norris was recently given 5 gallons of Propofol. He blinked twice.

Chuck Norris has a new policy regarding gays in the military. Don't ask - EVER!

Once, while experiencing an episode of ironic humor, Chuck Norris drowned an elephant in a vat of peanut oil.

Chuck Norris is not allowed to play in the NBA because only he can complete a 3 point slam dunk.

they once made Chuck Norris toilit paper but there was a problem Chuck Norris doesnt take crap

Only diamonds can cut diamonds, but only Chuck Norris can mould them like clay.

Chuck Norris' first car was a Caterpillar D9.

When Chuck Norris goes ten-pin bowling, he simply throws the ball straight at the pins, shattering them. He hasn't achieved a perfect game yet, as the building usually collapses before then.

horses have long faces because they keep challenging Chuck Norris to "whos got the biggest dick" contests

The people you see with brown teeth were in a room when Chuck Norris farted.