Chuck Norris will beat you with his nunchucks. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you with his Chuck Taylors. Chuck Norris will feed you to the woodchucks. Don't fuck with Chuck!!1

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris can tell you how to get to Sesame Street

Some people can kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris can kill a dozen condors with one boulder.

Chuck Norris knows how to get to Seasame Street.

when Chuck Norris pours milk into his rice crispy's they shut the fuck up

Chuck Norris recently did the ice-bucket challenge. And naturally, it turned to steam before it could hit him.

If you stab Chuck Norris with a knife, the knife bleeds..

If Chuck Norris kicked your ass, then went back in time and kicked your ass again, did he ever kick your ass in the first place?

Rocks get stuck between a hard place, and Chuck Norris.

Jesus is the only person in history who was not killed by Chuck Norris; when Chuck Norris kills someone, they stay dead.

Chuck norris has already been to mars thats why there are no signs of life there

Ken Grossman, owner of Sierra Nevada Brewery, drinks Chuck Norris Beer.

Duke Nukem was based on Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt mingle. he mangles.

If Chuck Norris had starred in "Jaws" it would have been called "Dentures"

Chuck Norris played Doom in the Nightmare level, without being hit. All of them.

Chuck Norris... has got milk

Chuck Norris doesn't want to build a snowman.

Chuck Norris keeps his penis in a shotgun holster strapped to his inner thigh.