Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

When Chuck Norris goes for broke, he always ends up with millions more.

Tigers developed stripes as an evolutionary strategy. Chuck Norris made them an endangered species anyway.

The Voyager space probe is the second man-made object to leave the galaxy. The first was a VW Beetle that Chuck Norris threw in 1967.

Chuck Norris wears alligator boots. He just slips his feet into real live alligators when he does.

Chuck Norris can take a shower in his closet

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Scientists claim to have created a fourth state of matter. Chuck Norris has already created ten others.

Chuck Norris cuts his steak with a plastic spoon.

When Chuck Norris reads a bedtime story you sleep forever.

Before the Wright brothers made the first airplane, Chuck Norris had already invented the rocket and flown to Pluto, where he lived for 20 years.........naked

Chuck Norris is the one that establishes all 'No man's lands'

a blind man once walked in to Chuck Norris chuck said do you know who i am im Chuck Norris. the mere mention of his name cured his blindness but sadly the first last and only thing he saw was a deadly

Chuck Norris has never struck out in Baseball. He simply stares at the ball, and it gets out of his way.

A life-sized sculpture of Chuck Norris' genitals was sold for a world record price at a recent auction

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris drinks unholy water.

Chuck Norris' penis has two little t-rex arms.

When Chuck Norris was young, his friends played dodge ball. Chuck always enjoyed a good game of dodge crowbars.

The so-called imaginary numbers used to be real numbers, till Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked them to oblivion. This incident is also responsible for most of the mysteries of the Universe.