Chuck Norris did take someone's eye out with that.

Chuck norris can chew with his mouth open

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird Chuck Norris ate a mouse an crapped out a cat 1+1=Chuck Norris Chuck Norris counted to infinite- twice Newtons' third Law states that every action has a equal

Chuck Norris is responsible for the dark matter of the universe. It is made up of the atoms of everything he's killed or destroyed.

The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales.

Doctors had to resort to inserting a photon torpedo suppository & detonation in order to cure Chuck Norris of a severe case of colorectal parasitic infection.

Chuck Norris can slit your throat with his pinkie toenail.

Chuck Norris can play rock-paper-scissors in a mirror - and win.

Chuck Norris can access private methods.

The expression 'keep your eyes peeled' originated from a horrifying incident involving Chuck Norris, a bowie knife, and some unlucky asshole.

Chuck Norris can rear-end the car he's driving.

Chuck Norris could land a whale with his wedding tackle.

If Chuck Norris kicked your ass, then went back in time and kicked your ass again, did he ever kick your ass in the first place?

Chuck Norris can speak japanese so fluently your ears will bleed.

Wolves are hungry like the Chuck Norris.

When God said "let there be light", he first asked Chuck Norris if it was ok...

Chuck Norris has a Grizzly Bear rug laid out on his family room floor. The Grizzly Bear isn't dead...it's just too afraid to move.

Chuck Norris can microwave Chinese take-in containers without starting a fire

Did you know that Chuck Norris invented the color black, in fact he invented the whole spectrum of colors.....except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk. He simply lowers his IQ to yours.